Apparently, space aliens have lousy lobbyists.
Against all opposition, the state Senate passed a bill banning the implanting of a microchip into an Oklahoman’s body without the consent of said Okie.
Senate Bill 47, by Sen. Brian Crain, R-Tulsa, would empower the state Health Department to levy a fine of $10,000 a day to any rogue Slargian from the planet Zebulon, three-headed Whinnean from the Horsehead Nebula or menacing Molochian from Merak ” or anyone else, for that matter ” who would dare to implant a microchip into the buttock of an innocent Goteboan, Tulsan, Lawtonite or anyone else who breathes the free air of Oklahoma.
Crain said this issue could become important later this century, according to a recent story in The Oklahoman.
“I thought there was more science fiction than science; then I recognized the validity of this measure,” Crain said.
That’s what we say here at Chicken-Fried News: stitch in time, and all that.
Cleverly attached to the bill was an amendment by Sen. Patrick Anderson, R-Enid, that would allow police to seize a car if the driver (Seize him!) did not have proof of proper liability coverage.
The microchip/insurance bill now goes to the House for deliberation. All Earth hangs in the balance, and the bill is expected to be opposed by a very determined space alien lobby, as soon as legislators can figure out how to cash in on all those Plutonian credits that serve as galactic currency outside Oklahoma. If you start hearing that sporting a microchip in your butt is pro-business, you’ll know the aliens succeeded.
Meanwhile, a Slargian delegation has approached CFN asking for an editorial against the microchip bill. At press time, our, uh, “most exalted high intern,” Bucky, was negotiating free pizza for all CFN staff for a year in return for running the piece.