Reviewers’ grade: F
Let’s get ready to rumble! To any other screen in the multiplex not showing “The Condemned,” that is. This latest effort from WWE Films lands with a thud, failing on all counts, whether that be action, thrills or keeping you from checking your watch. Though lame-brained, previous WWE offerings like “See No Evil” and “The Marine” earned points by being fun throwbacks to the big dumb genres of the Eighties, whereas this one is so bleak and morose, it makes “Saw III” look like a feel-good comedy by comparison.
Stone Cold Steve Austin plays one of 10 prisoners let loose on an island to provide a bloodthirsty Internet audience with a “Survivor”-style game show in which only one will be left standing. We lose. When you’ve seen one exploding contestant, you’ve seen them all. The script is as thickheaded as its star, the direction even worse, and the acting somehow far below that. The real question isn’t how this ever got made, but whether 2007 will see anything more repugnant. R