Winter is the time when bacteria and viruses like to curl up in your body, knowing that the consistently low temperature outside and steady infusion of your grandma’s pecan divinity and alcoholic eggnog have weakened your immune system, giving the little buggers plenty of opportunity to multiply.
It’s not surprising that most humans, warm-blooded germ-bags we are, don’t feel so hot during winter. In the interest of helping readers pick the best remedy for whatever particular cluster of symptoms, here’s a list of some of the most ubiquitous over-the-counter medications and their side effects.
NyQuil Cold & Flu
Be especially wary of taking it two or more nights in a row. I’ve had a dream in which Sally Field wanted to eat my skin, my cat was floating around on a mattress that was somehow a kite, and my mom kept screaming that the sun was going out. Not fun.
The “DM” in the name stands for dextromethorphan. More than a spoonful of it tastes like licking the floor of a chemical waste dump. Choking down an entire bottle is extremely difficult (not to mention stupid), and you might find yourself lying facedown on the floor, muttering incoherently and scooping canned corn into your mouth with your hands.
I avoid alcohol when taking sleeping aids of any kind, unless I want to re-create a Keith Moon-style, choked-on-vomit death scenario. On second thought, it might also be wise not to eat any ham sandwiches, fly a helicopter or fall asleep in a filled Parisian bathtub while under the influence, either. “Mike Robertson
(Editor’s note: The following is intended as commentary and not as medical advice. Readers should consult packaging and physicians before taking any medication.)