Various artists – WWE Presents Raw Greatest Hits: The Music

 

Columbia

Say it ain’t so, Rick Rubin. You can’t need money that bad, can you? This 15-song’ wait, make that 17-song (two “bonus” tracks, yes!)’ album of “hits” from werestling rockers and rappers packs the worst of more than a dozen ideas into one horrendous heap of a concept.

 

The Rock is simply not content with making terrible movies and thankfully contributed his genius to the track “If You Smell.” This “song” is actually just wailing guitar solos by James Alan Johnson, laid on top of a drumbeat with The Rock’s “If you smelllll what The Rock is cooking “¦ ” signature intro. We do smell it, Rock, we do. Raised eyebrows your way, too, James, because I know a Kenny Loggins wannabe when I smell one.

 

Wrestler Triple H laughs and growls through “The Game,” John Cena raps hard-core in “The Time Is Now” and the buxom basher Trish Stratus attempts to channel Foxy Brown or Lil’ Kim, and groove her faux-sexy self through “Time to Rock & Roll.”

 

If this album were entirely a joke, it would be great’ but it’s not, so it’s not. Wrassle up a better record.

 

“”Joe Wertz

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