OKC Barons. Nothing says Oklahoma like English nobility decked out in curly wigs and fancy ceremonial robes. Pass the fried okra, Lady Baroness.
The most famous Okies in the world are heroes of the people, Woody Guthrie and Will Rogers. Woodrow Wilson Guthrie wildcatted for a time, he’s cotton to that moniker or a variant of the proletariat, the guys who risk being blown up on offshore platforms.
Will has to be chomping at the bit to do rope tricks and gig some self-important oilies who think they’re nobility. He gigged actual nobility, in their presence.
Barons spent millions backing a sleazy, mendacious swiftboating of an actual combat vet who volunteered for the duty, in favor of the chamber of commerce guy who wouldn’t at all fret over pesky regulatory oversight, like on offshore operation, for instance.
None seemed too broken up over losing a billion in investor and donor coin gambling in the energy futures casino in hopes that consumers would have to pay more for energy.
Jeez, isn’t it enough the good citizens of Oklahoma kick our barons over half a billion annually in tax credits they don’t need to do their work? Have to rub noses in it if someone wants to take in a hockey game. The honorable Tulsa oilman/philanthropist George Kaiser blew industry cover on the tax credits last year, telling the Oklahoma House of Representatives the money should instead go toward improving health care and education in the state.
Perhaps the state wouldn’t be forced to lay off teachers and cram students into larger classes. Maybe we’d not have to talk about “needs testing senior nutrition programs” to make sure those grifter seniors aren’t just copping some free lime JELL-O cubes.
The good citizens of Oklahoma need to give thanks for the “Thunder.” The fondest dream to name the basketball team after themselves and have a jersey mock-up with Kevin Durant on the front page of their paper, but word association in the Pacific Northwest, and in general, would instantly be robber barons. The most famous barons are the robber barons of the late 19th century, and of course the frozen pizza magnate.
It costs as much as ever to fill the beater’s tank, a way of life threatened in the Gulf, and the marketing department comes up with Oil Barons. Will the New Coke formula be served in the arena? Here’s an idea for the mascot contest ” English nobility sporting a long, curly wig and a ceremonial robe skating the arena tossing trifles to the rabble. Kids would love it.