Science!

Finally! Mustachioed hipsters around the world can rest easy knowing that their ironic lip ticklers are, in fact, sexy. Indeed, their bushy mustaches are just reeling in the ladies. Specifically, lady fish, but, hey, not everyone can be choosy.

As reported by the website Kotaku, researchers at the University of Oklahoma have concluded that Mexican mollies (that’s a type of fish, for you non-zoologists) of the male persuasion will grow tiny little fish mustaches ” and it’s all for the ladies. Zoology prof. Ingo Schlupp gathered 100 male and female mollies ” some of the gents with lip fur and some naked ” and watched them get frisky. (Professor Schlupp, how kinky of you!)

The results of his study found that the Miss Mollies overwhelmingly preferred their partners to have facial hair. And what’s more, the Mr. Mollies will use the mustache for more than just achieving an irresistible look ” Schlupp found the males utilized it during fishy foreplay, too.

“This is based on the general observation that males will touch the female’s genital region with their mouth prior to mating,” Schlupp, who sports facial hair on his faculty website photo, told BBC.

Errr. This has suddenly gone from a science report to something else entirely. We should probably leave it at that and let the mustached mollies do their thing.

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Gazette staff

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