“#1 Cheerleader Camp” is a repugnant little T&A comedy, a Z-grade cheapie from the folks at The Asylum, who claim this one’s in “the tradition of ‘Bring It On’ and ‘American Pie.'” Hell, it’s not even in the tradition of “Bring It On: In It To Win It” or “American Pie Presents: The Book of Love,” those flicks’ terrible, direct-to-video sequels.
Michael (Jay Gillespie) and Andy (Seth Cassell) are spending the summer working at a cheerleading camp “ the #1 camp, I hear “ which looks like a rundown lake resort built by the WPA. Michael has the hots for Sophie (Erica Duke), the kinda-cute girl who’s shunned by the cheerleaders because she kinda has an odd nose and is confined to wearing the mascot costume.
Andy has the hots for everyone, and puts marks on the calendar every time he pleasures himself, hoping to beat “ no pun intended, but certainly appropriate “ his daily record. Andy corrupts Michael in the ways of humping watermelons, humping beer cans, and humping air while spying on the girls in the showers.
There are also lap dances, lesbian hookups and luring Michael into a homosexual romp, all leading to the climactic cheer competition, in which Sophie and a handful of recruited strippers hope to steal the state trophy from the bitchy cheerleaders. If you can’t guess the outcome, you’re the perfect rental target.
Yes, there’s nudity aplenty, which is the entire point of such an enterprise; the opening credits are even a montage of slow-motion topless jumping, which strikes me as completely tasteless and makes me hope my daughter never wants to become an actress, or at least one so desperate that she’d resort to this. Speaking of desperate, one-time “Dallas” beaut Charlene Tilton is in this, as the only recognizable name (you won’t recognize her face).
Bottom line: Even if I were 13 again, this would be tiresome all the same. I know The Asylum doesn’t exactly aim high in its productions, but it can do better than this. “Rod Lott