There should be a ban on all visual parodies of The Beatles’ “Abbey Road.” There’s one in writer/director/actor Rob Stefaniuk’s vampire comedy “Suck.”

Come to think of it, there should a ban on vampire comedies, too. Wasn’t the last good one in, like, 1979?

One online review of “Suck” I saw simply read as follows: “And it does.” I’ll be less glib: It’s by no means incompetent “” it’s just not funny. It has one good sight gag, where the lead vamp slurps up blood through a straw she’s stabbed in a convenience store customer’s neck.

The beautiful bloodsucker in question is Jennifer (Jessica Par


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