Bikini Girls on Ice

Those seven minutes are the best thing about it; the other 75 are really terrible, as if different filmmakers took over, going from sufficient to sucks. The story
centers on a way-out-of-the-way, abandoned service station, where everybody with car troubles seems to stop for help, only to be viciously lube-jobbed by the crazed and feral Moe (newcomer William Jarrand).

For the bulk of the film, Moe is kept busy by a school busload of college girl soccer players on their way to a fundraising bikini car wash. With the exception of the lead, who resembles a low-rent Rachel McAdams, they’re all stuck-up, slutty bitches, which makes me think debuting director Geoff Klein wants you to root for the killer. So I did, if only because I hoped it might finish sooner. One of the few males in the film seems to be channeling Bud Bundy from “Married … with Children.”

Even horny teenage boys are bound to be disappointed. —Rod Lott

Rod Lott

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