Dark Angel

Oh, well. At least it’s finally available on DVD, so I can ditch my VHS. (Google it, kids.) Any Dolph Lundgren fan worth his weight in protein powder knows how welcome the MGM Limited Edition Collection release is.

In a fun, sci-fi-tinged take on the buddy-cop formula, Lundgren (“The Expendables”) is the tough but easygoing Det. Caine, and Brian Benben (TV’s “Dream On”) is the lanky but hard-ass FBI Agent Smith. Together, the bickering twosome is on the case of a crash-landed alien (Matthias Hues, “Star Trek VI”) who whispers, “I come in peace” to humans he happens upon, yet then punctures their chest with a retractable cable that comes snaking out of his palm. So not peaceful.

Adding insult to injury, this “asshole from outer space” (Caine’s words) then drives a spike into their head to withdraw their brain fluid, turning his eyes even milkier. Sometimes he shoots killer compact discs, allowing director Craig R. Baxley (TV’s “Kingdom Hospital”) to indulge in Flying CD Cam. Richer than that very late-’80s move is the cocksure, un-PC dialogue, with lines like “I think we’re dealing with aliens, and not from Mexico!” and this grade-A choice exchange:
“What university did you attend?”
“The university of ‘suck my dick.'”

And on that note, Michael J. Pollard (“House of 1000 Corpses”) has a cameo as a character named Boner. The music by “Miami Vice” synth master Jan Hammer, and it shows. Recommended, of course. —Rod Lott

Rod Lott

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