ThanksKilling

Consumer alert: The package and menu mislead with the promise of “Tits in the first second!” It actually takes 33 seconds. A big-breasted pilgrim woman, for some reason running topless, trips and falls in the forest, only for a talking killer turkey to catch up with her and dispatch her with raised ax and the barbed compliment of “Nice tits, bitch!”

Some 505 years later, the turkey comes back from the dead when a collie urinates on a Native American totem pole. The resurrected poultry vows to kill all the white people. Given the annoying group of five college students on holiday — the jock, the nerd, the fat guy, the slut and the good girl — you’ll hope for the other white meat to succeed, and quickly.

ThanksKilling” lacks the relative ingenuity and actual jokes of the recent “Puppet Monster Massacre,” also released by MVD Digital. This amateur-hour flick is a little too informed by the Troma template, which leans as close to infantile as one can get without losing the ability to string words. Therefore, you get such bits as the sheriff’s wife defecating in the coffee carafe, or the turkey going doggie-style on an unwitting skank with his extra-small, gravy-flavored condom (“You just got stuffed!”).

It has some moments — about as many as your mom does kinds of pie for the holiday, which is two — but would be better served up as a faux trailer than a full feature … assuming 66 minutes counts. —Rod Lott

Rod Lott

This material falls under the archives category because it was imported from our previous website. It will eventually be filtered into the proper category as time allows.

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