One of the many, many, many, many writers of the first two Scary Movies — the pair directed by his brother Keenen Ivory Wayans — Marlon Wayans gets help from nary a single sibling in this similar project. You wouldn’t know it, however, given its heavy reliance on jokes involving the anus, whether predicated on things going in or out.
This slapdash production stars Marlon Wayans (Dance Flick) and Essence Atkins (TV’s Are We There Yet?) as Malcolm and Kisha, respectively, lovers who move in together. Malcolm’s hopes for 24/7 sexual activity, however, are blue-balled by poltergeists and demons, in a sketchy (in more than one sense of the word) parody of the Paranormal Activity franchise, with a little The Devil Inside, The Last Exorcism, Sinister and Insidious thrown in as well.
There’s a great spoof to be made of the found-footage phenomenon, but this isn’t it. Jokes are obvious, ugly and, worse, at the level of grade-school playground humor. If not for the halfway-amusing, scene-stealing cameos by the likes of Andrew Daly (TV’s Eastbound & Down) and Alanna Ubach (TV’s Hung) as horny-as-hell swingers, it would be as bad as the no-name Supernatural Activity.
Don’t bother comparing. I know it’s still early, but A Haunted House is destined to land on many worst-of-2013 lists. —Rod Lott
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