Chicken-Fried News: Poisonous proclivities

Illicit drug use rates by Oklahomans puts our state in the middle of the pack (No. 27) when compared to the rest of the nation.

That’s not too bad!

However, when it comes to tobacco use, well, we’re No. 4. That’s bleeping terrible, people. (Cough.) Oklahoma is also in the top half for cocaine use and pain reliever abuse. (Sniff.) We also drink a whole lot of booze. (We’re No. 7! Belch.)

Those rankings are based on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention statistics crunched by BetterDoctor.com.

And, well, depending on how we “parse” that data (read as how we rationalize these numbers to, you know, make us all feel a little less uncomfortable):

1) It’s a good thing because we do love craft beers and local breweries.

2) We are miserable sods who self-medicate to drown our sorrows.

3) Maybe binge drinking on college campuses disproportionately skews the data.

But we can’t blame everything on the kids, man. Why? Because they’re smarter than we are. Their retort would likely be: “I learned it by watching you!”

And they would likely be right.

In all seriousness, though, these rankings are jolting.

Black humor is a survival tool to help keep us sane, but it’s hard to joke about something that kills so many Oklahomans and impacts countless families.

Let’s ponder for a few moments why Oklahoma is so challenged regarding drug and tobacco abuse.

Have you thought about it? Are you depressed? Do you want to think of something less depressing?

That’s understandable.

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