Chicken-Fried News: Radioactive d'oh!

Nothing is more terrifying than Homer Simpson in charge of a control panel at a nuclear power plant — except maybe an Oklahoma thief in possession of radioactive material.

A Troxler Model 3430 gauge “used to measure the density and moisture content of soil” was stolen from the area around E. Reno and S. Eastern avenues, KFOR.com reported.

Though officials have assured the public that the box isn’t harmful unless opened, it does contain radioactive material. If you know where the gauge is or have any information about it, please call Oklahoma Department of Environmental Quality’s Radiation Management office at 1-800-522-0206 or 702-5100.

It isn’t clear if the thief knew that what they were stealing could cause an array of terrible health problems or even death if the box was unlocked.

D’oh!

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