Oklahoma Gazettes Best of OKC capped off its 31st annual reader-driven awards program with a record number of votes made by you, our readers, in a record number of categories.
Even so, we still cant possibly honor everyone, so a few years ago, we created Rest of OKC.
Here, we celebrate top scorers in fantasy categories like Best Mustache That Looks Like a Living Organism, Best Name For a Bar That Doesnt Exist Yet, Best Double Meaning, Best Place to Meet Me, Best Reader Write-Ins, Best New Resident of a State Jail and Best Performing Arts WTF.
Rest of OKC is also our opportunity to thank our readers, sponsors, advertisers and community for loving (and hating) Oklahoma Gazette for more than 35 years.
Thank you.
By Jennifer Chancellor, Greg Elwell and Kory B. Oswald.
Photos by Mark Hancock, Garett Fisbeck, Gazette Staff, BigStock.com and Provided.
BEST OF THE REST EATS
Another Best of OKC has come and gone. Gazette Publisher Bill Bleakley has retreated to his isolated hunting lodge once again, from whence he will not emerge until the spring of 2016.
Staff members who had to count every ballot by hand and call readers to verify they really meant to vote are outside, looking at that hot circle in the sky and wondering why their translucent skin hurts.
Are you happy, Oklahoma City? Is it worth it to know who the best is? Yeah, it probably is. Thank you for focusing your time and attention to vote and read the Best of OKC results.
Even after all our work, there simply were not enough categories to convey the depth and breadth of our citys cuisine. How could there be when so many deserving restaurants were left wanting?
So, in deference to their struggle (which is real), we submit to you the other categories and winners that were left from Best of OKC.
Best DINER
Hungry Frog Restaurant
1101 N. Pennsylvania Ave.
Sure, Jimmys Egg won Best Diner in Oklahoma Gazettes real Best of OKC contest this year, and we have no problem with that. But what about the Best DINER, for which the only entry is Hungry Frog? Its sign proudly proclaims it a DINER, and its food proudly makes me want a giant stack of pancakes topped with a comically large pat of slowly melting butter.
Best Cajun Food
Cest Si Bon
101 N. Douglas Blvd., Midwest City
In a hotly contested category that everybody forgot to put in the paper for some reason, Cest Si Bon must fight it out against other Cajun luminaries like Bigheads in Edmond, The Shack Seafood & Oyster Bar, Hillbilly Po-Boys & Oysters, Jazmoz Bourbon St. Cafe, Crabtown and the powerhouse buffet at Cajun King. The people cry out for justice and also gumbo. Probably they would settle for gumbo. Maybe some crawfish étouffée and some catfish.
Best Use of Bone Marrow
Ludivine
805 N. Hudson Ave.
Youve heard of food so tender it falls off the bones. But have you eaten whats inside the bones? Maybe its time for a visit to Ludivine, where they buzz-saw cow femurs lengthwise and roast them until the fatty marrow becomes a creamy gelatin suitable for spreading on toast points and eating while making a weird, near-orgasmic face. Its sometimes referred to as meat butter, and for those who love flavor, its a must-have. Honorable mention goes to Carican Flavors, 2701 N. Martin Luther King Ave., where the marrow in the oxtail adds to the rich and flavorful broth that we would shower under if given the option.
Best Use of an Old Coach House
The Coach House
6437 Avondale Drive
Its hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed in The Coach House. Not because it smells like horses it doesnt but because it has long been the secret hangout of Oklahoma Citys tastemakers and up-and-coming chefs. Chef Kurt Fleischfresser makes exquisite food and trains young cooks until theyre ready to run their own kitchens, create their own menus and, eventually, open their own restaurants. Its not cheap, but the food served there is nothing short of wonderful.
Best Place To Meet Me
Oklahoma Gazette
3718 N. Shartel Ave.
We had a category for where to meet a hipster but completely glossed over the information people really wanted: namely, where to find me, Greg Elwell. Id like to say that I hang out at the above-named restaurants all the time. And I will. I hang out at the above-named restaurants all the time.
But thats not true. I am here, at the Gazette, writing this sentence. And when you read this sentence, I will probably still be there, writing more and different sentences.
Please, somebody bring me some coffee.
Best Restaurant to Wait Out a Tornado
The Basement Modern Diner
200 S. Oklahoma Ave., Suite X
The actual best place to wait out a tornado is in another state, where tornados are not happening. But if youre in Oklahoma City, The Basement is a pretty good choice. Its underground, for one, but it also has booze, bowling lanes and ice cream. Yeah, if the power goes out or everybody is trapped down there for some reason, you know you want to be where the ice cream and alcohol are.
Best Name For A Bar That Doesnt Exist Yet
The Your Moms Tavern & Grillery
No matter how old you are, no matter how dumb it is, when someone answers a question with Your mom, it still gets a laugh. So, why hasnt anybody capitalized on this and opened up a place people cant wait to go for a burger and several beers?
Where should we go tonight?
Your moms.
Screw you, Derek! But, yeah, lets go. Ive been wanting to try the Your Moms Cooking Is So Bad Burger.
Maybe next year, Derek.
BEST LETTERS WE DIDN'T RUN
Oklahoma Gazette gets a whole lot of emails, phone calls and letters to the editor. Did we say we get a whole lot? Because we get a whole lot.
A handful of readers let us know when they think we need to shut up, and were super grateful they continue to read our paper anyway. In Rest of OKC, some have a voice, although they might not get a name. Here are some of the best reader callouts we received in the past year. Letters have been edited and names removed to protect, well, everyone. Ed.
Best non-response
Doesnt this world have enough people disrespecting people without publications like this? Dont bother responding; what you have to say and what you think is not important to me!!!
Best lazy rhetoric
We have an election next week, and as with all elections, we hear the plethora of candidates on both sides speak of compromise and bi-partisanship and crossing party lines and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Best interfaith troll
The interfaith community here in Oklahoma translates into all who hate the unwanted restraint of American Constitutional Judeo-Christian-based law and capitalism.
Best passive-aggressive line about cyclists
Including an image of a city sign where I routinely go running. It speaks volumes. Print that! Its within OKC limits. (See photo.)
Best tinfoil hat
Declassified information is available on many decades of human experimentation projects carried out by the government. The systems we count on have been manipulated in order to keep the number of victims, their complaints and the highest level statements suppressed or kept below societys awareness threshold.
Best crazy line
I want to agree with and expand upon what Gazette Editor Jennifer Chancellor said on public radio today.
Bestest, craziest line
As one who has watched countless episodes of the show, I can attest that those darn Duke boys were closet racists, and their car (The General Lee) was so racist, it should have been named the Grand Dragon.
Best how dare you!
Perhaps the voices behind the Gazette should return to kindergarten.
Best use of needless quotes
Our hedonistic irrationality leads us to the false redefinitions of marriage equality, embrace, respect, support and even diversity itself.
Best spelled
Hi, Ok Gazette. I see this paper a very nice-looking paper in local restaurants. My input is this: Why such a hard left editorial view? And why do you think the letters have the same view? I think Oklahoma is a pretty conservidive [sic] place. Maybe you are just terribly biased.
Best typo callout
I am happy to see this opportunity opening up in OKissC ... but I am really happy they are taking over the old Dan OBriens Pubic House ... being near the bank and B&N may have been a downer for old Dan. Look at the article again. No misspellings but one letter missing made my day! Thanks! Then again, Gene Simmons might be happy to get a pubic not a public house!
Best middle-of-the-night phone message(s)
Im glad I know youre the editor, because next time the paper says something stupid Ill call you. To say that schools are underfunded is dumb (long pause, then yells), Dee-You-Em-Bee ... madame! (click) (calls back) ... And remember MAPS for Kids? ... (unintelligible, groaning) Wasnt that wonderful? (yells) Helllooooo?!! (click) (calls back) Seventy percent of the population thinks youre an idiot! (click) (calls back) ... I think the Gazette is a Democrat-whore paper. (click)
Best minimization
I suppose you could say his charges were significant (Editors note: fraud, larceny, engaging in a pattern of criminal offenses, bail jumping, obtaining money by false pretenses, spanning from 2003-2009, according to publicly available records), but if you review the trail of appeals, record of nonviolence and professional accomplishments, he is no risk to society.
Best random line
The Thunder alone is a bloated cash cow.
Best definition of a lie
As I see how this tragic event is treated in a cavalier manner by media and called a bombing by everyone, I am deeply embarrassed and ashamed. The official story is wrong. Its a lie; furthermore, its a vulgar, dirty lie.
Best wasted insult
Mr. Meyers can once again do things you could not do before, like take occasion to trash right-wing politics and Christian religion and ignorant Oklahomans.
BEST READER WRITE-INS FROM BEST OF OKC BALLOTS
Best Local Winery: Rob CrissingerBest Free Entertainment: 7-Eleven at 10th Street and Western Avenue
Best Weather Team: Long Live Gary England!
Best Place to Meet a Hipster: and kill them?
Best Local Contractor/Handyman: My husband
Best Family In-State Staycation: Staycations are at home, dumbasses.
Best Place to Spend Adult Time That is Kid-Friendly: Incongruent statement!
Best Place to Take a Selfie: In the middle of NW 23rd and Classen; should get a great one right before a bus hits your stupid face.
Best (National or Regional) Restaurant You Wish Was Locally Owned*: Sonic
Best Person to Follow on Social Media: A friend
BEST OF THE WORST
At Oklahoma Gazette, were all too willing to make fun of ourselves, too. Here are some of the best worst lines printed and/or edited out of our stories in the last year.
Best double meaning: First place: Add the black bean salad with corn and red onions ($7) for a blowout meal!
Honorable Mention: Pardon the pun, but it was a mouthful in more ways than one.
Oh, Jesus, We Didnt Mean That: Children young enough can get their rocks off in the Discovery Room, literally.
Best mixed metaphors/cliches: First Place: He doesnt speak on the rubber chicken luncheon circuit. He gets down to the nuts and bolts.
Most Cliches: Hats off to a resident cooking rock star who can definitely hold her own against the pros and make the Oklahoma scene proud in the process.
Best Visual: Next, she tackled hot dogs.
Best Mixed Metaphors in a Run-On Sentence: In a partnership that will go into extra innings, INTEGRIS Health has stepped up to the plate to become an Official Community Partner of the ASA Hall of Fame Softball Complex for the next 10 years, to the tune of $750,000.
Best Use Of Scene Or Scenes:
Best Kool-Aid Man Visual: After bursting onto the scene in the 80s ...
Best Wettest Scene: It was before the craft beer scene exploded.
Best Sci-Fi Melding Visual: He has fused himself into the soul of the midwest punk scene.
Best Captain Obvious Line: Theres a new food truck on the scene.
Best Snooty Art Scene Reference: A wide breadth of visual art that few outside the scene would recognize.
Best We-Have-No-Manners Line: First place: The cheese sauce is indeed amazing; I feel like I could just drink the sauce and that would be quite acceptable.
Best Performing Arts WTF: First place: With stage names like April Showers and Ooops the Clown, you get the feeling that you arent on your way to see the ballet. Its dazzling burlesque, and youre in for some showtime extravaganza.
Best Dictatorial Lines About Authentic Fare: First Place: You know, Hitler was a vegetarian is a popular thing to say to discredit vegetarians.
Almost Makes Sense: You can still find hot dogs at Coney Island, though they might hesitate to fill your order if you use a German accent.
"OTHER" REST OF OKC WINNERS
Best Mustache That Looks Like a Living Organism:
Dino Lallis facial hair
Its origins are murky, but historians discovered that soon after its inception sometime in 1842, Dino Lallis mustache (in reality a single-celled organism) attached itself to its first host, J.J. McAlester, until the end of their reign as United States Marshal for Indian Territory in 1897. After a period of dormancy, it found its present host: handsome, 12-year-old Lalli. (He formally adopted it sometime around 1980, court records show.) After recovering from an almost career-ending blow in the early 80s when Hall & Oates exploded on the scene, the stache regrouped and worked about nine years at the Oklahoma Film & Music Office, capitalizing off its prior experience as creative services director for the television division of a worldwide nonprofit based in OKC. The mustache and Dino now works tirelessly as a co-host and producer for Discover Oklahoma. Today, many people still fully credit Dino for the pairs success. Few know that the duo works so well together they often finish each others sentences.
Best Funnyman:
BradChad Porter
BradChad Porter, by his own accounts, is an adult, bald divorcee who has lost control of his bowels in his pants at least five times. He also is often called the funniest comic working in Oklahoma City right now. Whether hes talking about being caught by his mother during an amorous encounter with himself or the ironic tragedy of dying at an amusement park, its not just his clever words that garner guffaws. His body contorts and explodes on stage with the telling of each story, eliciting peals of laughter from crowds. His pain is our gain, and Oklahoma Gazette thanks him for sharing it.
Best Festival Brawl:
deadCENTER Film Festival
Opening night of this years deadCENTER Film Festival was surreal, even by Jerry Springer standards. A mockumentary premiere about local female pro wrestling group was paired with a documentary about a satanic black mass. Members of both communities came, but it wasnt the brawlers who brawled. Nope. Instead, opposing satanic practitioners took their anger Outside, bro! and two men exchanged punches in front of the theater as The Real Enemy screened inside. Police broke up the scuffle.
Best Time Wasted Standing in Line:
H&8th Night Market
People-watching has never been as fun and rewarding as it is at H&8th Night Markets monthly street festival. Waiting in line for an hour after you order your gourmet meal from some guy leaning out of a truck window gives you plenty of time to examine the dynamics of human interaction, crowd movement and local music and art. And, hey, is that a drone hovering above, filming everyones every move? Yep, it sure is! But you dont care. (Wave hello, yall!) Everyone around you is just so interesting. Plus, that guy at the window accepts credit and debit cards. So order a second craft beer while you wait. Youll be glad you did.
Best Media Brawl:
The Lost Ogle vs. Aaron Tuttle
Months and months before meteorologist Aaron Tuttle and The Lost Ogle (TLO) co-founder and editor-in-chief Patrick Riley went public with their arguments about who was best qualified to win Best of OKCs Best Person to Follow on Social Media title, a painful and sometimes hilarious drama nearly broke the Internet. Tuttle fought TLOs use of sleek-chested, ripped photos from his bodybuilding days. Things soon devolved into shout-outs requesting good copyright attorneys, cease-and-desist complaints, threats of lawsuits and the best publicity either could ask for. Their beef with each other is legit we dont think its a publicity stunt but it has also served them both well. Congratulations, gentlemen.
Best New Resident of a State Jail:
Randy Terrill
Schadenfreude, thy name is Randy Terrill. After being convicted of offering a bribe for the withdrawal of Sen. Debbie Leftwichs candidacy in 2013, the former representative from Moore finally began his prison sentence this year. Perhaps best known as the author of anti-immigration and English-language-only bills, his fall from grace is perhaps more embarrassing to himself than the state. (The Sooner fan was forced to take a mugshot in an orange shirt. The indignity!) Hes due for release from the prison in Granite in February.
Best Rap Pose in a Promotional Photo:
Jack Swagger
Perry-born former WWE World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger has a solid flow. His rhymes are dope, and his braggadocio is legend. This pose alone is successful in todays rap scene. Earlier this year, when Swagger told Oklahoma Gazette, the impact is definitely not fake, we secretly hoped he was alluding to a pending album debut.
Best Use of James Garner Statue:
No words. Just this:
Best Lawmaker Everyone Loves to Hate:
James Lankford
This was a close one. In fact, we flipped a coin to choose the winner and then threw out that decision. The Oklahoma native and U.S. senators attempts to defund and/or dismantle Planned Parenthood, Native American sovereignty, religious freedom protections and Obamacare, however, prove his bite is far more dangerous than state lawmaker Sally Kerns incessant bark. Whether you think Lankfords a hero or a heel, almost everyone agrees that hes a shrewd and controversial lawmaker.
Best Place to Drink and Fire a Gun:
Wilshire Gun
This is a big win for us okies! No longer do we have to procure an old television and an ice-cold Coors and scoot off into the country to drink and fire weapons. At Wilshire Gun, OKCs first-class gun range, you can grab an AK-47 or a Russian AK-74 as easily as you can grab a Jack and Coke!
Best Burn-the-Place-to-the-Ground Event Opening:
deadCENTER Film Festival
This years beloved deadCENTER Film Festival appreciation party blowout was jokingly close to literal when a fireworks display at the still-under-construction American Indian Cultural Center and Museum ended with the wail of fire truck alarms. Sparks from the fireworks set tall native grasses aflame, but it was quickly extinguished and no property damage was reported.
Best Metro City That Hides its Seedy Underbelly Well:
Edmond
Oh, how we love thee, Edmond, America. Perhaps Oklahoma Citys most affluent suburb, its really skilled at putting on its happy face and downing another flute of perfectly chilled, from-a-box rosé as it smiles and pretends not to notice. Over the past year, it has launched a hugely successful monthly street festival that has brought in an estimated $1.5 million. Its schools are some of the best in the state. And, dude, its arts festival is pretty awesome. It also made the news for a brothel bust, prostitute takedown, feces-centric vandal, stabbing death, high-speed chase involving traffic violations and drug-related arrests.
Best City Thats Not As Weird As It Thinks It Is:
Norman
Norman is not the next Austin. Austin, the former weird capitol of the world, is now a place where yuppies run wild in the streets, dragging up the cost of living with their high-end salaries, where every non-yuppie lives in a Neverland-like fantasy of never growing up and playing in a band until arthritis consumes their body and leaves them helplessly on their own with no 401K and a bleak resume. Norman is not weird like that. Boasting a state university and sitting comfortably as a burb of OKC, Norman sounds a lot like another metro suburb just to the north. Nothing weird about that.
Best Town Thats Way Weirder Than Anybody Thinks:
Luther
If news reports are to be believed, this quaint town has turned into some kind of Bermuda Triangle for normalcy. In June, a former councilman was arrested for allegedly possessing stolen copper wire/cable. This was after police said he told jail inmates to strip tornado sirens of metal so he could make some quick cash (about $160). This month, he was arrested again for allegedly intimidating witnesses in the case, including threatening the life of one witness and trying to run another off the road, according to KOCO.com. As if that wasnt bizarre enough, earlier this month, News9.com reported the Luther Schools superintendent created a job that paid $65,000 and hired his wife to fill it. I knew she could do the job, he told News9.com. All of this is weird enough that we assume the next story to surface might be about a candy-colored clown they call The Sandman.