Have you no shame? We hope the answer is no, because we have a list of delightfully decadent foods that cannot be consumed by those encumbered with embarrassment. Delve deep into that bag of fried pork, lick the gooey cheese off your fingers and shout to the heavens: Yes, I will have another corn dog!
by Greg Elwell, photos by Mark Hancock and Garett Fisbeck
Chelinos Meat Market
2101 S. Robinson Ave.
Theres something kind of magical about seeing a whole pork rind in its original piggish shape. Chelinos takes that enormous hide and fries it until it becomes puffy, crisp and flavorful. Plus, its always good to take revenge on your enemies by eating their skin. And if you think that pig wouldnt turn around and do the same to you, then its time to wake up, pal! Its swine oclock and you better start chowing down.
Anchor Down
30 NE Second St.
605-8070
Corn dogs go by many aliases. Theyve been called Dagwood dog and Pluto pup and cozy dog. In Argentina, they are called panchukers. Those are all, we can agree, very dumb names. Especially when corn dog is so easy to say. Try it. Go ahead. If youre in Anchor Down when you say it, the cooks will probably make one for you to eat. Hint: Hold it by the stick and eat the fried part. Great job, champ.
Bricktown Brewery
1 N. Oklahoma Ave.
232-2739
Every time you say fried cheese, a heart surgeon buys another Lexus. And yet, every time you say fried cheese, a thrill runs down your spine. Perhaps it is the knowledge that theres no redeeming nutritional value in this delicacy. It is an exercise in pure, unadulterated flavor. Bricktown Brewery understands this. Fried cheese exists outside the boundaries of good health, but not outside the boundaries of a healthy appetite.
Coney Island
428 W. Main St.
239-8568
The good people at Coney Island had a decision to make. They could continue selling Corn Chip Meat Sauce Cake or they could take a chance on a young upstart called Frito Chili Pie. People said they were fools and heretics, but then those people had a taste of gooey melted cheese, hearty chili, the sharp bite of chopped onion and the buttery crunch of Fritos ... and shut up. The rest, dear readers, is history.
San Marcos Mexican Restaurant
2301 SW 59th St.
685-7773
A petition is going around to rename Thursday as Nursday and we are all expected to sign it. Tuesdays, rightly, have been associated with tacos. But without a compatible day, what has become of the noble nacho? Until Congress, U.N., Hardy Boys and National Association of Chip Handlers Onanymous (N.A.C.H.O.) act on this resolution, well have to celebrate Nacho Nursday in secret at San Marcos.
Jamils Steakhouse
4910 N. Lincoln Blvd.
525-8352
Thats a load of baloney! is an acceptable thing to shout when your waitress brings you the Senators Smoked Bologna sandwich at Jamils. Sir, could you keep it down? Others are trying to eat, is an acceptable reply from your server, who doesnt need your crap, thank you very much. There are too many people ordering these sweet, smoky, meaty hunks of goodness to put up with all your commotion.
Smokeys Midnight Express
520 S. Coltrane, Edmond
359-3663
With dishes like The Morning Bowl and Roll Your Own wraps, the folks at Smokeys dont care about subtlety. They know their clientele, which is why this restaurant is open 6 p.m. to 3 a.m. and serves pizza, sandwiches and bountiful breakfasts like chicken and waffles. Nothing tamps down on a late-night craving like chicken fingers, sweet potato waffles and Smokeys secret syrup. (The secret is you should ask for more syrup.)