Thursday 31 Jul
 
 

Escape from Tomorrow

With Escape from Tomorrow, one fears the story behind the movie would loom larger than the movie itself. Luckily, that is not the case. After all, it opens with a decapitation on Disney World’s Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coaster.
05/06/2014 | Comments 0

Sorcerer

William Friedkin spends a lot of time in his 2013 memoir discussing why Sorcerer didn't click with critics and audiences even though he believes it to be better than his previous film, The Exorcist. Now that Warner Home Video has reissued Sorcerer on Blu-ray, we can see what Friedkin's fuss is all about.
04/23/2014 | Comments 0

Broadchurch: The Complete First Season

Welcome to the coastal resort of Broadchurch, population … oh, who can keep track, what will all the corpses? Yes, Broadchurch is yet another British television procedural involving the search for a murderer in a quaint little town, just like the limited series The Fall and Top of the Lake.
04/23/2014 | Comments 0

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Essentially part five in the ridiculously profitable horror franchise, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones continues the found-footage conceit of the other films. The difference is instead of the scares taking place in rich white suburbia, they do so in a junky apartment complex on a largely Latino side of Oxnard, Calif.
04/23/2014 | Comments 0

Holy Ghost People

Holy Ghost People examines two sisters whose bond is torn — but by what? After her sibling has been missing for more than a year, Charlotte (Emma Greenwell, TV's Shameless) intends to find out.
04/15/2014 | Comments 0
Home · Articles · Movies · Horror · Red Riding Hood
Horror
 

Red Riding Hood


The freakazoid love child of Stephen King and Stephenie Meyer

Doug Bentin March 16th, 2011

You’ll have no one to blame but yourself if you become stupid because of “Red Riding Hood.”

Your brain will function as it would if you’d been the guest of honor at the Zombie Family picnic last weekend.

In this version — make that “perversion” — of the old fairy tale, Red’s name is actually Valerie (Amanda Seyfried, “Letters to Juliet”), which I’m sure was common in medieval Germany. Her village on the edge of the Black Forest has been plagued by a werewolf for three generations, and no one has been bright enough to check on the whereabouts of the villagers on full-moon nights.

But more urgent than the fact that her sister has just become wolfie chow, Valerie has been promised in marriage to Henry (Max Irons, “Dorian Gray”) while she is really in love with Peter (Shiloh Fernandez, “Cadillac Records”), much to the annoyance of her father, Cesaire (Billy Burke, “Drive Angry”).

I’ve never seen Gary Oldman more bored.

That’s right: This is a paranormal romance, the freakazoid love child of Stephen King and Stephenie Meyer. The picture is directed by Catherine Hardwicke, she who was fired after misdirecting the first “Twilight.” The hunky leads have that Robert Pattinson thing going, while old pros Gary Oldman and Julie Christie tag along to provide the ham, sliced extra thick, especially Christie as Grandmother. I’ve never seen Oldman more bored during a movie. Hey, Gary, me, too.

Believe me: This one’s not badfunny as much as it is bad-irritating.

Or just bad.

 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
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