Sunday 19 May
 
 

The Last Stand

Early in The Last Stand, the small-town sheriff played by Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "It's my day off. Should be a quiet weekend." That's the new way of saying, "I've got one week to retirement," because it signals — with flashing neon and everything — that life is going to royally upend those plans.
05/17/2013 | Comments 0

Texas Chainsaw

One of the most inconsistent franchises in movie history is the one beget by Tobe Hooper's 1974 classic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. How does one follow all those less-than-beloved sequels? Lionsgate's latest in the series — the seventh — has a solution: Ignore 'em.
05/17/2013 | Comments 0

Captain America: Collector’s Edition

Not long after Batman changed Hollywood in the summer of 1989, every studio wanted to have the next comics-based blockbuster. I remember visiting Penn Square Mall’s multiplex (as I did often back then) and seeing a poster for Captain America. The one-sheet was comprised of little more than a close-up of Cap’s iconic shield and a promise to arrive next summer.
05/16/2013 | Comments 0

Dark Circles

With the Broken Lizard comedy troupe becoming increasingly broken, member Paul Soter has branched off to write and direct something about as far away as one can get from the likes of Super Troopers and Beerfest: a horror film. Now that I've seen it, I'm thinking maybe he should stay on his own.
05/16/2013 | Comments 0

Die! Die! My Darling!

File 1965's Die! Die! My Darling! under that now-dead subgenre dubbed "Grande Dame Guignol." The Hammer Films production may lack the dueling duo of two twilight-era titans of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? and the others, but truth be told, Tallulah Bankhead is fierce enough to provide all the fire it needs.
05/14/2013 | Comments 0
Home · Articles · Movies · Horror · The Human Centipede II
Horror

The Human Centipede II


‘The Human Centipede II’ madman’s got legs, and he knows how to use them. You’ve been warned.

Rod Lott October 26th, 2011  

Anyone who can recall our review last year of “The Human Centipede (First Sequence)” may remember an observation that the film’s events weren’t as graphic as everyone expected — that they could’ve been much worse.

Well, readers, welcome to the “much worse.”

Turns out that when writer/ director Tom Six promoted his original film by saying the sequel would make it look like “My Little Pony“ by comparison, that wasn’t just a good sound bite. “The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)” makes its big brother look positively innocent. To Six’s credit, he didn’t simply remake his own movie. Instead, he completely flipped it and went meta.

If you dare, see for yourself exactly how. Catch it now on-demand; it’s probably a good thing you won’t find “THC II” playing in any local theater.

This follow-up begins with Martin (newcomer Laurence R. Harvey), a sweaty, bug-eyed, obese parking garage attendant in London, watching the tail end of the first film on his laptop at work. When it’s over, he watches it again. He’s obsessed with it, to the point that he keeps a “Centipede” scrapbook hidden underneath his bed, as if it were porn.

Martin doesn’t utter a word.

His story his so simple — a lifetime of abuse and ridicule — that he doesn’t have to. The gist of “THC II” is that he begins to wonder about testing the movie’s infamous “100% Medically Accurate” tagline, so he seeks out unwilling test subjects for an experiment. Whereas the original’s Dr. Heiter had but three victims, Martin seeks a dirty dozen.

Whereas the first film was clean and antiseptic in look and design, this sequel is bleak and grimy. Whereas the first film was in color, this sequel is in black-and-white — except for one scene, à la the girl in the red dress from “Schindler’s List,” but I dare not say how. Whereas the first film showed next to nothing, this sequel shows everything. I do think it goes too far, and from someone with a strong tolerance for horror, that’s saying something.

I’m still processing the experience, too. Six has made the darkest of black comedies, set in “Eraserhead”-type surroundings of societal misery, and then stitched on a Grand Guignol grand finale so unnerving, you may laugh as you recoil.

Harvey gives such a remarkably brave performance, we alternately feel sorry for him and want to kill him. I think I liked the movie — after all, it’s arty, clever and unique — but so much of its third act crosses the line, the angel on my shoulder tells me I shouldn’t.
 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
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