While I hadn’t had time to consider it earlier in the day, I suddenly realized I felt the same way. In the days following, I heard from dozens of other LGBT Oklahomans who had similar feelings.
I shared this with a straight friend who simply couldn’t understand these feelings. “Why?” she asked. “This is just about free speech. It’s nothing personal.”
She was wrong. On both counts. This was never about Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy’s freedom of speech being stifled by the gay community. And it was incredibly personal.
When a corporation spends in excess of $5 million to support organizations whose sole purpose is pinned on preventing equality for me and the people I care about, it is personal.
When state Rep. Sally Kern calls for all Oklahomans to eat fast food in a show of support for “traditional family values,” it denigrates my family and it is personal.
When U.S. Rep. James Lankford gloats childishly on his Facebook page about eating bigotry-infused chicken sandwiches, he is clearly not representing me or the other 365,000 gay Oklahomans and it is personal.
When people who pride themselves on having gay friends enjoy deep-fried foods more than they value equal rights for those same friends, it is personal.
When parents who are cordial to same-gender partners at the Thanksgiving table stand in the hot Oklahoma sun to indirectly fund hate, it is personal.
To try to pass this off as an issue of free speech and deny that it is personal is akin to smacking someone in the head, kicking them in the gut, and declaring it freedom of expression and nothing personal.
The effect of this whole episode has been felt deeply and personally by LGBT Oklahomans. We have spent so much energy celebrating our little victories that we had been lulled into a false sense of acceptance. Now we find that not only are we largely not accepted, we are, in many circles, not even tolerated.
It will be a long time before we fully realize the impact on young people just coming to terms with their own sexual orientation and on older LGBT people who had mistakenly allowed themselves to believe that we had finally turned a corner.
How many parents will now force their kids into already-discredited “ex-gay” therapy and how many seniors will feel forced back into the closet? All because of the bigotry built on the foundation of a chicken sandwich.
While this event may fade quickly in the minds of many people, it will serve as a lasting reminder of how very far LGBT Oklahomans have yet to go in our quest for equality.
And, I can only hope, as the fuel to fortify us on that journey.
Hamilton is executive director of Cimarron Alliance, a Central Oklahoma LGBT advocacy and education organization.
A couple observations I've made:
Those who protest gay marriage don't get that it doesn't create homosexuals. In fact, the quantity of homosexuals in the world will remain the same.
Those who feel it is unnatural are free to do so. While I do not spend my free time envisioning my friends having sex, apparently these people actually do envision homosexual acitivity, which, in my opinion, makes them a tad suspect.
The "ick" factor which is most likely the root of their protest should be juxtaposed with all the non-procreative sex acts that heterosexuals partake in. The most prevelant of which is probably oral sex. Considering that, homosexuals and heterosexuals have more in common than their willing to admit.
Speaking of admitting it. How many church going heterosexuals would flat out lie when asked if they willing engaged in oral sex, anal sex, pegging, fisting, or S&M. Probably most of them would lie, ironically out of fear of being judged. If those you surround yourself with are supposed to be free of judgemental compulsions, why then restrain your honesty? If we cannot be ourselves around those we consider friends, why would we want to be their friends to begin with?
The Chic-fil-A thing was about bigotry. When Kraft came out earlier this year in favor of equality, it wasn't an attempt to disenfranchise anyone. It was an attempt at being inclusive. Chic-fil-A's stance is about labeling a community and shunning them. That is not a Christian value, and it never will be. However, the mainstream Christian culture would have us believe otherwise. They would have us believe that it's acceptable to castigate anyone who does not fall into line and become a drone like everyone else.
I for one choose not to be a Borg. Resistence is not futile!
People who do not agree with our (LGBT) stance on same sex marriage are not necessarily "haters."
That's an intellectually shallow -- and somewhat sophomoric -- debate tactic to stifle debate. Just call your political rivals "haters" to invalidate their positions, however heartfelt and historic-driven those positions might be. Yes, you will really smooth over differences that way...
Its use in this forum by Hamilton might explain why the Cimarron Alliance and its ilk have failed to make even elementary inroads towards actual inclusion in Oklahoma. Perhaps maintaining leftist political orthodoxy is more important than actual progress for the alleged "cause."
Sad to see that without an intellectual reboot of the anti-intellectual approach to politics reflected herein, the cause of LGBT inclusiveness will never progress in Oklahoma.
But "advocates" will do quite nicely, which is really the key to activism today.
How is it not about hate?
When you wish to deprive someone else of a basic right because of YOUR personal feelings ... when their expression of that right does nothing to you ... then it can only be about hate.
If YOU have a religious aversion to same sex marriage then great - don't marry someone of the same sex. More power to you. But to be offended because others don't share your views is rather disingenuous.
Oh, and your reply if the height of irony.