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A Haunted House


Boo! Hiss.

Rod Lott April 17th, 2013

Sporting possibly the laziest, most generic title in cinema history, A Haunted House might as well have been called Scary Movie 5, but I don’t wish to insult Scary Movie 5.

ahauntedhouse

One of the many, many, many, many writers of the first two Scary Movies — the pair directed by his brother Keenen Ivory Wayans — Marlon Wayans gets help from nary a single sibling in this similar project. You wouldn’t know it, however, given its heavy reliance on jokes involving the anus, whether predicated on things going in or out.

This slapdash production stars Marlon Wayans (Dance Flick) and Essence Atkins (TV’s Are We There Yet?) as Malcolm and Kisha, respectively, lovers who move in together. Malcolm’s hopes for 24/7 sexual activity, however, are blue-balled by poltergeists and demons, in a sketchy (in more than one sense of the word) parody of the Paranormal Activity franchise, with a little The Devil Inside, The Last Exorcism, Sinister and Insidious thrown in as well.

There’s a great spoof to be made of the found-footage phenomenon, but this isn’t it. Jokes are obvious, ugly and, worse, at the level of grade-school playground humor. If not for the halfway-amusing, scene-stealing cameos by the likes of Andrew Daly (TV’s Eastbound & Down) and Alanna Ubach (TV’s Hung) as horny-as-hell swingers, it would be as bad as the no-name Supernatural Activity.

Don’t bother comparing. I know it’s still early, but A Haunted House is destined to land on many worst-of-2013 lists.  —Rod Lott

Hey! Read This:
Eastbound & Down: The Complete Third Season DVD review     
Hung: The Complete Third Season DVD review  
Insidious film review   
The Last Exorcism Blu-ray review   
Sinister Blu-ray review     
Supernatural Activity Blu-ray review     



 
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