Sunday 19 May
 
 

The Last Stand

Early in The Last Stand, the small-town sheriff played by Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "It's my day off. Should be a quiet weekend." That's the new way of saying, "I've got one week to retirement," because it signals — with flashing neon and everything — that life is going to royally upend those plans.
05/17/2013 | Comments 0

Texas Chainsaw

One of the most inconsistent franchises in movie history is the one beget by Tobe Hooper's 1974 classic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. How does one follow all those less-than-beloved sequels? Lionsgate's latest in the series — the seventh — has a solution: Ignore 'em.
05/17/2013 | Comments 0

Captain America: Collector’s Edition

Not long after Batman changed Hollywood in the summer of 1989, every studio wanted to have the next comics-based blockbuster. I remember visiting Penn Square Mall’s multiplex (as I did often back then) and seeing a poster for Captain America. The one-sheet was comprised of little more than a close-up of Cap’s iconic shield and a promise to arrive next summer.
05/16/2013 | Comments 0

Dark Circles

With the Broken Lizard comedy troupe becoming increasingly broken, member Paul Soter has branched off to write and direct something about as far away as one can get from the likes of Super Troopers and Beerfest: a horror film. Now that I've seen it, I'm thinking maybe he should stay on his own.
05/16/2013 | Comments 0

Die! Die! My Darling!

File 1965's Die! Die! My Darling! under that now-dead subgenre dubbed "Grande Dame Guignol." The Hammer Films production may lack the dueling duo of two twilight-era titans of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? and the others, but truth be told, Tallulah Bankhead is fierce enough to provide all the fire it needs.
05/14/2013 | Comments 0
Home · Articles · Movies · Horror · Saw 3D
Horror

Saw 3D


None November 2nd, 2010

saw_3d_003
serve himself, and that's because he's not a Jigsaw survivor at all. He's a pants-afire liar, so Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), the killer since the real Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) died many movies ago, kidnaps Bobby and forces him to navigate through an underground maze where each room poses a deadly threat to Bobby's PR army. Bobby has an hour to wind his way through it or his wife (Gina Holden, TV's "Harper's Island") will become a victim as well.

Meanwhile, Hoffman still has time to hunt down Jigsaw's widow, Jill (Betsy Russell), who's turned him in to the cops, as well as set up ridiculously elaborate traps for various ne'er-do-wells "” from cheaters to racists "” who serve no further purpose to the film once snuffed.

Where does Hoffman find these people and how does he know about them? Isn't his real estate agent the least bit suspicious about his penchant for rundown properties? Does he take advantage of Home Depot's 12-month/no-interest card in purchasing his equipment? And what does he get with his Best Buy Reward Zone points for all the TVs he buys? More TVs?

Does it matter? This series is not about filling endless plot holes, but expending its mental energy on coming up with new ways to dispatch its amateur-hour cast members, and "Saw 3D" throws out a couple of doozy set pieces to make even the most immune gorehound flinch.

Ocular trauma, pulled teeth, ripped skin, spilled intestines "” what will next Halloween be without them?  "”Rod Lott

 
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