Neither a chain of spice stores nor a Food Network program, The Seasoning House is a bleak-as-nuclear-winter thriller set during the Balkan conflict of the 1990s. A deaf girl named Angel (Brit teen Rosie Day) is taken from her home by soldiers who shoot her mother dead.
Paul Schrader’s The Canyons opens and closes with a montage of abandoned movie theaters. For this film in particular, that choice strikes one as symbolic in several ways: not only as a comment on the state of the industry, but on the state of The Canyons itself. You’re unlikely to find many 2013 films this empty.
What's a director of classic musicals doing in science fiction? Making Saturn 3, one of the worst of the genre Hollywood made in the immediate post-Star Wars / Alien era. Stanley Donen (Singin' in the Rain) takes to it about as well as you'd expect; he's in over his head.
Military marksman Col. Jim McQuade (Gregory Hines, Running Scared) is called into top-secret duty to neutralize a surveillance robot gone haywire in San Francisco. It won't be easy, because for one thing, the android is undetectable from a human. For another, it has a built-in nuclear bomb that will detonate upon imminent threat.
I plead guilty: My friends and I have goofed around with a camcorder before and made stupid movies, but we were smart enough to know that no one outside ourselves would think they were funny. If only the makers of Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas realized the same.
Okie writers/directors Mark Potts and Cole Selix have released the official trailer for their new feature film, Cinema Six, a comedy about the lives of people who work in the hallowed multiplex of the title.
Although not shot in the Sooner State, it follows their previous productions that were, like S&M Lawn Care and The Stanton Family Grave Robbery. Consider this one a step up, maybe? We hear it has a surprise cameo by a famous funny TV star who can not be found in the trailer or the film's IMDb page.
In nine days, Cinema Six has its world premiere, at the Dallas International Film Festival. And one day, we can say, "We knew them when." And speaking of "say," prepare for dirty talk to ensue when you click the play button, workers of America. —Rod Lott