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Just days before winning the Henry P. Iba Citizen Athlete Award — an honor reserved for those who “excel in their sport and who show by their actions a desire to help others” — Adrian Peterson announced he is “not with” same-sex marriage.

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Remember that annoying “Nookie” song all your friends who listened to Top 40 were singing in high school? Something about cookies? And that one puzzling line about where haters could stick it? Yeah, we barely do, either.

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Lots of press releases cross our desk. Recently, these titles least screamed, “Stop the presses!”

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We’ll say this for U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn: No amount of government spending is too modest for him to oppose. The Muskogee Republican recently has taken his crusade against federal largesse to his Coburn’s hostility for the colleagues on Capitol Hill.

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Is it just Chicken-Fried News or is it getting hot in here? Porn queen Jesse Jane has revealed in Aroused, a newly released documentary about adult-film starlets, that the triple-X world evidently saved her from a life of radar-reading.

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Question: What issue is black, white and green all over?

Answer: Marijuana possession in Oklahoma.

OKG7 things to do
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I’m sensing someone here who had an uncle who passed when he was hit on the head with a 40-ounce can of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni. I’m also sensing that world-renowned psychic and spiritual teacher Sylvia Browne will conduct live readings at 7 p.m. Saturday at Grand Casino, 777 Grand Casino. Tickets are $30. Call 964-7777 or visit grandshawnee.com.

Saturday

OKG7 things to do
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Are you the best slot player in the nation? You have three chances to prove it when the 20-state TournEvent of Champions makes stops today at Newcastle Casino, 2457 U.S. 62 in Newcastle; Saturday at Riverwind Casino, 1544 State Highway 9 in Norman; and next Wednesday at Remington Park, 1 Remington Place. Someone’s going to win $250,000; why not you? Visit tournevent.com.

Wednesday; Saturday; Wednesday, June 19

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What do you get when clarinetists converge on the University of Oklahoma’s Catlett Music Center, 500 W. Boyd in Norman, for three days? Three nights of concerts, that’s what! At 8 p.m. Thursday and Friday, and 7:30 and 9 p.m. Saturday, respectively hear soloists Gregory Raden, David Shifrin, Charles Neidich and József Balogh. Tickets are $8-$12. Call 325-2081 or visit ouclarinetsymposium.ou.edu.

Thursday-Saturday

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The biggest burlesque production the state ever has seen busts out with the inaugural Oklahoma City Burlesque Festival! At 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday at Oklahoma Contemporary, 3000 General Pershing, lovely ladies like Mosh, Ruby Joule, Adéle Wolf and Lula Houp-Garou pictured strut their stuff. Belly dancers, magicians and more fill out the bill. Tickets are $25-$40. Visit okcburlesquefest.com.   

Friday-Saturday

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The Oklahoma City Parks and Recreation Department’s community spraygrounds are a blast — quite literally! With dump buckets, water cannons, geysers and more, the 17 metro locations are a free way to keep kids cool this summer, from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily through Sept. 2. Call 297-2211 or visit okc.gov/parks.

Daily, ongoing

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When Chris Hardwick isn’t hosting The Nerdist podcast or AMC’s The Talking Dead show, he’s doing stand-up comedy. Like at 7 p.m. next Wednesday at the University of Oklahoma’s Donald W. Reynolds Performing Arts Center. Admission is free. Visit cas.ou.edu.

Wednesday, June 19

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Drawing comparisons to Lyle Lovett (aural, mind you — not visual), indie-folk rocker Jay Nash visits The Blue Door, 2805 N. McKinley, at 7 p.m. Thursday, opening for David Ramirez. Nash’s brand-new album is Letters from the Lost, and critics suggest you’ll not want to mark them “return to sender.” Tickets are $15-$20. Call 524-0738 or visit bluedoorokc.com.

Thursday

Gazette staff
If there’s one thing Kevin Durant has been lauded for since the beginning of his career (aside from his jumper), it’s his maturity. So when images of the NBA superstar surfaced on Instagram of an extravagant back tattoo in which the word “mature” appeared to be misspelled, it came as even more of a surprise.

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It’s not news that U.S. Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Tulsa, doesn’t believe in manmade climate change. It’s not news that Oklahoma is smack dab in Tornado Alley.