Fundraiser. F-U-N-D-R-A-I-S-E-R. Fundraiser. Complete.

In an announcement that probably surprises no one, I was really into spelling bees as a kid. It was right up there with sitting at the front of the class and turning in all my homework on time. Yeah, I was that kid.

And, you guys, my time has come again. Midtown Rotary — a fairly new Rotary club group full of young, downtown types — is hosting its first fundraiser this Thursday, a spelling bee. Or, make that spelling bee(r).

The event kicks off at 7 p.m. at IAO Gallery and includes a beer tasting from Coop Ale Works, food from Iguana Mexican Grill and, of course, a real, live spelling bee. I’ve already been practicing.

The grand prize for the bee is $500. Tickets to the event are $20 per person and are available online. Tickets are limited, so get yours soon.

 It seemed like a good idea at the time: I love violins! And I love wine! Together, they probably have, like, “Captain Planet” properties! But now I’m not so sure.

I just signed up for Violins & Vino, a fundraiser through the Oklahoma City Philharmonic. No big deal, right?

Wrong. Oh, my god, how wrong.

Violins & Vino, set for May 26 at IAO Gallery, is not your average fundraiser. It allows 20 hapless dupes (or secret prodigies … maybe I’m in that camp? Yeah, probably not) to sign up for a violin lesson to be given at the fundraiser and then PERFORM TOGETHER LATER IN THE EVENING. Sweet Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

Friends are invited to point and laugh, or as the Phil puts it, “watch your friends perform.” Yeah, Phil, nice try.

Here’s how it’ll work: During the cocktail party from 7-9 p.m., the newbie violinists will be given an instrument and a 45-minute lesson from OKC Phil cellist Dorothy Hays. During that time, the soon-to-be-captive audience will get to drink some wine, eat some food courtesy of Iguana Mexican Grill and, I’m guessing, grab some rotten tomatoes and limber up their throwing arms.

Then, after just a single lesson, the newly minted orchestra (or is that just a violin gang?) will perform two songs. We’ll then all be signed to a major label and be asked to open for Yo-Yo Ma. Obviously.

To sign up for the violin lesson and performance ($25), get on over to the Phil website. It’s open to only the first 20 people, and I already know of two people signed up, so don’t dawdle. Non-performing tickets are $10. Being able to laugh at me (I’ll be the one crying and standing in a puddle of my own making) will be priceless.

Wanna be in a music video? Then director Richard Farmer and singer/songwriter Luke Dick, both Okie vets, sure could use you and your aggression. They’re be shooting a vid for Dick’s new song, “Who Am I,” on Sept. 10 in the Film Exchange District.

The concept: beating the crap out of an automobile.

“I’ve always wanted to capture the sledgehammer tradition in a video in some sensational fashion, especially for such a bombastic tune,” said Dick in a press release. “Over dinner, I was telling Oklahoma entrepreneur Chip Fudge about the idea of a video with apocalyptic Okies bashing a car. Being such an ol’ gear head, he got a big smile on his face and said, ‘I want to be a part of that! What better place than the Film Exchange for a film event?’”

Sound like a plan? Here’s the deal:
• Meet at 5:30 p.m. in the parking lot behind Joey’s Pizza, IAO Gallery and the Hart Building, in the 700 block of West Sheridan.
• Donate $5 at the gate, benefiting Bikers Against Child Abuse.
• Be 18 or older.
• Dress in a letter jacket or a prom dress, and in skeleton makeup.
• Read that last one again; you weren’t hallucinating.
• Don’t worry — you’re in good hands. Farmer directed Gnarley Barkley’s “Run” video, after all.
• And until then, enjoy this clip of Dick covering Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi.” Hey, it worked for that kid in Edmond. —Rod Lott